Thursday, April 29, 2010

Excerpt from 'Getting Good at Getting Along'

Many people say that the best relationships are those that are 50-50. It’s a nice idea, but it often falls short in real life. People hold onto resentments – waiting for the other person to “see the light.” People insist that others take their share of responsibility when an issue comes up: “I’ve done my part; now it’s their turn.” The problem is, you might be waiting a very long time if you always insist that relationships (and their problems) be 50-50 propositions.

If you’re really serious about getting good at getting along with others, here’s an idea that can transform your life: Instead of expecting people to meet you 50-50, try making it 100-0. You take on the entire responsibility for making the relationship work, and don’t worry about whether the other person is doing their part!

Yes, it’s a somewhat radical idea. But if you’re up to really having amazing relationships at work – and in your personal life – this will do it. You’ll never again feel that you’re at the mercy of someone else. You’ll never feel like a victim of another’s actions or inactions.

Here’s how it works …
• Assume that the other person is a given. “He is who he is.” “This is her personality – she isn’t going to change.” Just accept the person exactly as they are – and exactly as they aren’t. This is who you’ve got to work with.
• Ask yourself, How can I change my words or actions when I deal with this person? You don’t have to change your whole personality – you’re just going to use different language and behaviors when dealing with this person.
• Try out new behaviors and new ways of conversing with your “problem person.” See what works and do more of it. If something doesn’t work, stop doing it.
• Learn from others. Watch others who have excellent interpersonal relationships and learn from them. If you want good relationships like those, mimic them.
• When there’s a problem, take ownership of it. As long as someone else is the problem, you’re powerless. But if YOU own the problem, then YOU can own and control the solution.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Mother's Love

A mother’s love is as big as a house, deep as an ocean, constant as the stars. A mother’s love is all encompassing, all knowing, and all forgiving. It is home. And yet, as big as it is, a mother’s love remembers all the details and knows the littlest things can be the most important—like how much chocolate in the milk, when to offer advice and when to be still, and just the right squeezing that makes the perfect hug. From the biggest moments down to the sweetest nothings, a mother’s heart stands at the ready to comfort, encourage, inspire, protect and, most of all, love.

Mother’s LOVE shows us the way.
Mother’s COURAGE can move mountains.
Mother’s WISDOM holds you close.

“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”
~Erma Bombeck

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

You Belong to God

Consider this. You have a master that you serve. You belong to this master. You are made to follow and worship such a master. This is your design, your nature; this is what you do. Call it other things—choosing your own destiny, doing things your way—but you serve. You can believe that you are independent, that you are in control, that you are on top and in charge, but you follow and you worship. In great wonder and beauty and glory, this is how you are made. You are made to belong to someone. You are made to belong.

Now, if you belong to someone, all of who you are belongs to that master. If you belong to God, your past and your present and your future belong to Him. He bought them. Did you hear that? He owns your past, you don’t. He has purchased you, and your past is His to redeem. So you can let go of it and give it to Him. He also possesses your future, so you don’t need to worry about tomorrow. And He owns your present moment, your “right now” so that you can release it to Him as well. He can handle all of this quite well; far, far better than any other master you can choose.
Life in Him is meant to be this simple and good.

Lord, thank you that You have saved me and purchased me with your death. I belong to You. May I find all my deepest desires for belonging, peace-filled surrender, freedom to follow someone I can fully trust, serving well and doing things of great lasting value, worshiping in celebration and wonder and free-flowing praise. May I find all of these things of my heart met in You. May I accept no substitutes or alternatives. Please deliver me from all deception and grant to me a heart filled with You and focused on You alone. Amen.

1 PETER 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.